Social Anxiety Model
Social Anxiety Model
Parenting Tips: Help your child anxiety
Anxiety is one of the most frequent among young clients I counsel. The children feel anxious or something on the events in their environment. They experience physical symptoms and mental such as increased heart rate, sweaty palms, stomach cramps, and persistent thoughts. These concerns can lead to endless nights sleep, resistance to go places, oppositional behavior, repetitive patterns, or withdrawal. When anxiety is high and persistent, a professional should be used. When anxiety seems to be limited in time or situation, then the parents can use these tools to help their children cope.
- The spill concerns. Children and adults often talk to me About what I call a spill worry. Concerns are beginning to become very honest and monsters. A child may always fear that he forgets to do homework at school. Before he knows it, the feeling is spreading fretting whether he forgot his lunch, but he never forgot his lunch before. In these cases, the anxiety takes own life. Thus, containment is the only solution!
How can we contain disturbing? Firstly, it is important for people to visualize a spill worry. In the council, I often draw a map of questions, a map shaped like the United States, for example, with different lines separating the different issues. For a child, the card may include homework, chores, the band, friends, family, or peace in the world. Basically everything that the child believes is a problem in his life. Once a card is drawn questions I take a different color pen and we decide when and where it all started worrying. Usually, there is a point of departure. It could have been the day when homework was not turned in or a night when mom and dad fought. We made a big X on hand to demonstrate our point of departure. Then we talk about concerns over how new concerns spill over when the concerns are not addressed. We take a marker and to make the concern of bleeding in most other areas in terms of issues. When we finished coloring the map, it is clear that the concerns are out of control.
Finally, we are talking about containment. We discuss how disturbing or anxiety is a useful energy when we focus on solving a particular problem. For example, the problem could be how can I be assured that I will remember my lunch? The solution might be to place a sign on the door that says "Remember your lunch. "If we spend time problem solving, and later through our solutions our concerns often disappear. Once the original issue is resolved, other issues tend to deflate.
- The Box worry. Some children live with a lot of anxiety. They fear more school. They fret over sports. They have concerns closer. They feel overwhelmed. To help these children cope, I explain that sometimes their "cup emotional" feel full. Thus, when parents request a chore to do, these children can easily melt or burst into tears in a rage. Parents feel like they are "walking on eggshells" when children are in this state. They often do not realize how they can tip the cup over emotional with simple requests. Your concerns of children are important to them. And when children have too much trouble, they can be grumpy a lot and might even have trouble sleeping.
One way to help relieve your child of their concerns is to help define which disturbs, then put their concerns in a box literally. First, you say: "I understand your concerns are important to you, but they are also sometimes overwhelming. Your worries sometimes make you cry or help you in anger and sometimes you lose sleep. I want to help. Let us write your worries and then put them in this box. As you have new concerns, you can add them to the box. When concerns feel too heavy, I'll wear them for you. I can even keep them all night. I'll take care of them and when you want them back, you can resume. I am your mother and I'll do it for you. I can not bear the weight of your worries when you can not. "
Then you help your child to write their concerns on a piece of paper. Try the "I feel … when … because … "formula. An example might be "I'm afraid when I go to bed, because it could be something under my bed. "Then, place the order written in a special box. This process allows children to let go and feel safe. It is symbolic and may show your child that she is not in this alone. Sometimes children do not return to their concerns.
- Parent-child Journal. Opening the communication with your child is very important. If you find the talk-listen a little too routine for now, try to review the parent-child. First, buy a newspaper robust. Then write the first entry on the first page describing the purpose of the review. You might say: "Sometimes speak of your problems is difficult. I know it was for me at times. But writing our problems might feel easier. Hope This journal is our way of communicating difficult things until we feel more comfortable talking about it. You will have no trouble for what you write and are not expected to speak later. However, you are free to talk if you want.
Open the newspaper that words: "Sometimes I worry about … And that's how I cope with this anxiety. "If you have communication skills, sit with your child and explain that the newspaper's goal is to open communication. Once you've written your entry, place the magazine under the pillow of your child. Wait patiently for a response. Once you receive your child's entry, write again in a thoughtful and timely. After a while, take your child for a date or spend time alone and talk about whatever comes up. Slowly but surely, you will see that the pages of your business Logging will come to life verbally, however, do not push beyond the boundaries of your child. Pushing may lead to closure of the communication.
These three solutions to moderate anxiety were useful when parents use them quietly. It is always important to remember that as a parent, you model the behavior of calm and resolve problems. Tell your children through your techniques to cope with stress. If you find that you're not a treatment of your own worries, get help for you and share discoveries with your child. Stress may be a natural part of being human, but decreasing stress and anxiety certainly makes for a better healthier, happier living.
Copyright 2009 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio. Original Article Link: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/children-anxiety.html
About the Author
Laura Doerflinger, MS, a licensed mental health counselor, is the Executive Director of the Parent Education Group at http://www.familyauthority.com/ and the author of the audio book, Emotionally Balanced Parenting.
Part 1 – Social Thinking in the Classroom and Across the Day: ILAUGH Model of Social Thinking
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